No one wants to hurt, we would much rather do most anything, but did you know that your feelings are good…even when they’re hurt? Even when our hearts are completely broken?
I’m hurting right now. I am probably about to have to say goodbye to someone who I have known my entire life. Someone who has been a bright, shining light for goodness throughout my life. That hurts, oh my gosh, does it hurt. My grief can be overwhelming at times. The old me would be looking for something, anything that could make me not feel the hurt and not feel my feelings. But now…now I’m looking for opportunities to sit with these feelings. To allow them to teach me their lessons while they are here. To feel them fully and learn their journeys so that I can process them and set them free. I can carry pieces of the lessons and the love, but I have zero obligation to stuff or bottle a single one of those feelings, allowing them to resurface another day. That right there, that’s amazing. That’s healing.
In the past, I would be overwhelmed by all of the ways I had failed this person and my feelings would add and multiply those, leaving me depressed and broken. This loss – while it will be HUGE, and it will be forever missed – will hurt but it also is met with wonderful memories, intentional time spent, love shared, memories made….and I know that I will get to see her again one day.
My heart hurts for the part of the journey she is traveling now, it is not one of the easy parts; but I am forever thankful for the love she has poured into my life. I will do my best to pass on the good things she has shared, to instill a love of family and Faith to those that come after me, and to do my best to shine as a caring friend the way she has.
I will forever be thankful for the nearly 50 years I have had this amazing human in my life. I will eagerly be looking forward to hugging her neck in Heaven. I will eternally and fervently strive to be the girl that she saw me to be.
Hug the people you love, hold them close and remind them how very precious they are to you. Feel your feelings, even the big, mean ones. Get to know them, learn their lessons, then set them free.
And remember, like my sweet little grandma would say, “Grief may last for the night, but JOY comes with the morning.” (Psalm 30:5)
Until our next adventure, keep wandering and wondering!! 🌍✨
Comments
One response to “Our Feelings Really Are For Us….”
Kaci you are definitely talented in putting your feelings into words. She would love that you loved so much.