I have no real plan for this post, just feelings. This last week has been a beast! Do you ever have weeks like that? We all do, right?! Let me lay it out for you just a little bit…
So both of my amazing kids are going through their own struggles right now…we are also trying to plan a birthday party for the middle GranGirl at Gran’s house. Then we had the death of my beloved Grandmother and then yesterday I got the horrible news that an amazing friend of mine had unexpectedly had a medical emergency and didn’t survive. His beautiful wife passed away a little less than two years ago and while I am thrilled that he is back together with her, they leave behind two beautiful daughters whose sky really is falling right now. My heart is just so very broken right now.
Sometimes your world just gets so rocked, so shaken, you just feel like Chicken Little and want to run around screaming to everyone who will listen “THE SKY IS FALLING!!!”
I know it’s not, but it’s easy to get lost in despair sometimes. And I guess that’s why I am writing today. I know that countless folks in my circle are reeling from this loss and others around the world have their own struggles and obstacles. So maybe, just maybe, if I share my pain and hurt, it can help you to not feel so alone, or find ways to process, cope, and heal.
While I was holding vigil at my grandmother’s bedside, I sang to her. Our family is quite musically inclined and she loved music just as much as I do. One of the songs I would sing to her also comforted me as I sang it. Lauren Daigle’s Rescue. The words, “I hear you whisper underneath your breath; I hear your SOS, your SOS; I will send out an army to find you; In the middle of the darkest night; It’s true, I will rescue you.” Those words bring me peace, knowing that my God wants what’s best for me, even if I don’t know what that is and can’t see how this pain can be for good….that gives me comfort.
I know that not everyone has the same faith as I do and not everyone believes that they have a God who will rescue them and that is your choice, but what CAN you do to process, cope, and heal in the hard times…with or without a religious connection?
Take Care of Yourself
Self-Care is so very important – and I’m not necessarily talking about bubble baths and wine, although that can be included. But doing whatever is that helps you to process. For me, it’s moving. Whether I throw my kayak in the car, hit the skating rink, or go for a hike; when I am moving I can be alone with my thoughts and think, sing, pray, or plan. Sometimes, it’s cranking up some 90’s country or alternative music and clean the house like a mad woman, singing at the top of my lungs. Sometimes it’s creating something pretty with crafting, decorating, or gardening. Just give yourself whatever your inner child needs to feel free to process, hurt, and grieve. Your feelings are for you….even the yucky ones.
Fully Grieve
What did she say???? Even the yucky ones? How in the world can the feelings that hurt be FOR ME!?!
Allowing yourself to truly feel your feelings, especially in times of grief, is vital. It’s like a natural healing process for the soul. When we allow ourselves to experience the full spectrum of our emotions, we’re honoring our true selves and the significance of our loss. Grieving is not a sign of weakness; it’s a testament to the love we have for those we’ve lost. It’s how we gradually find our way back to a new normal, carrying the lessons and love from those who have passed on, just like the wisdom I cherish from my grandmother and my sweet friend. This process helps us grow and ensures that we don’t bottle up emotions that could surface later in harmful ways. So, give yourself permission to grieve fully. It’s a path to healing and eventually finding peace.
Allow your feelings to teach you what they came to teach you and then set them free!!!
Be Patient
Being patient with yourself during grief is crucial because it’s not a linear journey; it’s more like a winding path with its own timeline…not yours. I remember when I went to therapy after my second divorce and I screamed at the therapist, “this hurts so much!”
Very quietly like Mrs. Claus in every traditional Christmas story and with that sweet Texas accent she chirps back, “Sweet girl, who told you that this isn’t supposed to hurt?”
Rushing through or ignoring your emotions can mean missing important moments of introspection and healing. Just as you set goals and track progress in other areas of life, it’s okay to take small steps and celebrate the courage it takes to face each day.
Patience allows you to fully process your loss, find meaning, and gradually rediscover joy without pressure. Remember, healing takes time, and being patient with yourself is a form of self-love and respect for the process.
“I will rescue you,” became a mantra for me in my grandmother’s last days. It’s a poignant reminder that even in our deepest despair, we are not alone. As we navigate through the shadows, let’s remember to extend a hand to those who need it, to be the army for each other, just as the song promises. In sharing our stories, we weave a tapestry of resilience and hope. So, take heart, dear friends, for the sky is still firmly in place, and together, we can weather any storm. Let’s be each other’s rescue, finding strength in our shared humanity, and solace in the knowledge that we are all connected in this journey. Here’s to healing, to hope, and to holding onto each other through it all. Until our next adventure, keep wandering and wondering!! 🌍✨